They set goals, grind quietly, and build things through pure internal drive.

I’ve learned I’m not wired that way. And for a long time, I thought that meant something was wrong with me.

Growing up, community meant the few blocks between home, school, and the surrounding streets. It was geography. It was proximity.

Now? Community can mean almost anything—a shared vision, a common goal, people who understand what you’re trying to build.

And I’ve noticed something about myself: no matter what I’ve done in my career or where I go in life, I’ve always been drawn to being active in communities. And if one didn’t exist that fit, I’d instinctively build one.

In college, I didn’t pledge a sorority, but I created a group for my friends and me to rally around and express our identity together.

At work, I helped usher in Employee Resource Groups. I was part of the initial leadership for two and mentored someone who started a third.

Outside of work, I accidentally started a writing community that ran for a year.

Most recently, I rallied a few friends and family members into a fitness community.

Pattern, right?

For a long time, I thought this said something negative about me.

I noticed that I don’t show up the same way for myself as I do for others. Solo projects often feel optional to me. Arbitrary even.

But when someone is counting on me, when something matters to other people? Everything changes. I find a way. I show up. I make it work.

I used to think that meant I needed external validation or accountability to accomplish anything meaningful.

But lately, I’ve started to see it differently.

I’m not unmotivated. I’m selective.

I don’t spend much energy grinding alone on things that don’t move the needle. But when something matters—and when it matters to people I care about, I will absolutely show up.

And when a group of people share that same vision?

That’s where the magic happens.

Not in solo genius.

Not in grinding alone.

In collaboration. In accountability. In knowing that other people are invested too.

We’re told the ideal is to be a self-starter. Independent. Completely internally driven. And sure—there’s value in that.

But I suspect a lot of us do our best work in connection with others.

We’re energized by shared purpose. By knowing our effort contributes to something bigger than ourselves.

And if that’s true, then building communities isn’t a distraction from the work.

It is the work.

That’s why I keep building communities.

Not because I set out to.

But because, time and again, I’ve learned that when people come together around something that matters, we accomplish far more than any of us would alone.

I’m curious—have you noticed patterns like this in your own life?

Do you do your best work alone, or when you’re building something with other people?

We talk about keeping it all together. Managing priorities. Staying focused. We celebrate the juggle like it’s proof of something. And maybe it is.

But if you’ve ever actually juggled (YouTube link to me juggling), you know the truth: dropping is part of the practice. The question was never whether you’d drop something. It was always what happens next.

And that depends entirely on what you were holding.

I developed a framework I call Bounce Break Wait. It started with me trying to teach my kiddos what happens to things that hit the floor when learning to juggle and turned into something I actually use.

They of course want to put things down as soon as they realize they might not be naturally a pro at it. I tried to teach them that dropping things is part of the process. Which is why they weren’t ready to juggle the same objects as me. It was as cute as you imagine. The yoyo lesson on the other hand is a story for another time.

For Bounce Break Wait, the idea is simple: not everything you drop behaves the same way. And if you don’t know what something is made of before you let it go, you’re leaving a lot to chance.

The Tennis Ball

Some things bounce. You drop them, they come back up, maybe not exactly where you expected, but they’re not gone and they’re not broken.

These are the things that can absorb imperfection, absorb delay, absorb a stumble without catastrophic consequence. They have resilience built into them.

In your career, these might be projects with some flex in the timeline, relationships with enough history that a missed call doesn’t crack the foundation, or goals that can take a detour without losing their destination.

When something bounces, you can drop it intentionally. Not carelessly, but strategically.

The Egg

Some things break. Full stop.

These are the balls with zero tolerance for being dropped. When they hit the floor, something changes. Sometimes the mess is literal. Sometimes the consequences travel further than the thing you dropped.

What makes these tricky for high performers is that when everything is moving fast, it’s not always obvious you’re holding an egg. Unfortunately you can’t always know, so the real work is learning what you’re holding quickly and preferably before your hands get full.

Ask yourself: if this hits the floor, will it remain intact? And who will have to clean it up?

If the answers are no and not just you, you’re probably holding an egg.

The Baseball

Some things just wait. They land flat, they don’t roll far, and they’ll be right there when you come back for them.

These are not unimportant things. They are just things that have the grace of patience built into them.

The danger isn’t dropping these. The danger is forgetting they’re on the floor and letting them quietly collect dust while you convince yourself you’ll get back to them.

One More Thing

There’s a fourth thing worth naming, not a category exactly, but a conscience check.

Some balls won’t destroy themselves when you drop them. But they’ll destroy whatever they land on.

For instance a bowling ball.

Before you let anything go, ask: is anyone standing underneath this?

Because sometimes you’re fine — but the drop still matters.

The Part Nobody Puts in the Framework

I want to be honest with you about something.

I’ve gotten pretty good at protecting the eggs at work. Most professionals do. We learn fast which things have zero margin for error and we guard them accordingly.

What I underestimated for longer than I’d like to admit was that some of the most fragile things in my life weren’t on my work list at all.

There’s a friend I used to have Saturday brunch with. A standing thing. Good conversation, good food, the kind of relationship that felt solid because it had been solid for so long. When things got busy, we both let it slide. Just for a while. We both assumed we were holding a baseball. The kind of thing that would be right there waiting when life opened back up.

It wasn’t. We’re not estranged, but we’re far. The Saturday thing never came back. And the honest truth is neither of us knew we were holding something fragile until it was already on the floor.

That’s the real risk of the Bounce, Break, Wait framework done wrong. It’s not that you’ll misidentify a work deliverable. It’s that you’ll look at your personal life, your health, your relationships, your creative self, and assume everything there has bounce or patience built in. Because those things somehow feel more flexible. Because they don’t have deadlines or performance reviews attached.

You should know that some of them do not bounce. And they will not wait forever.

So Here’s What I’d Recommend

Right now, think about everything you’re juggling. Work, home, relationships, personal goals, the thing you’ve been meaning to get back to for six months.

Now ask: what is each one actually made of? Not what you hope it’s made of. Not what would be convenient. What is it actually made of?

That answer changes everything about how you carry it.

And how you juggle it.

So I’m curious: what are you currently juggling that you’ve been calling a baseball but might actually be something else?

And what’s your system for making sure the things you intentionally set down don’t get forgotten?

Here’s a safe place to drop your comments. Nothing breaks here. I read every one.

Rest gets a bad reputation. We associate it with beaches and spa days, like it’s supposed to feel effortless and natural. But for a lot of us, rest is actually hard work. It means telling that voice to stop pushing for one more hour, one more task, one more item off the list.

I’ll be honest about why this is hard for me specifically.

I find it easy to let the needs of others come first. Sometimes even the needs of strangers. I’m lovingly called neurospicy sometimes, and that has a way of making me forget myself more often than I’d like to admit. I can become so hyperfixated on what’s in front of me that I completely miss my stomach growling, the need to sleep, or something as basic as a bathroom break. And then comes the guilt for all the things I said yes to that I probably shouldn’t have.

I love being a helper. That’s real. But I’ve had to learn, repeatedly, that I can’t pour from empty.

Rest isn’t the opposite of productivity. It’s maintenance.

Build a support system that actually supports you.

Keeping a full plate is a choice I make. That means I need infrastructure to protect it — people, places, and practices that don’t just avoid draining me, but genuinely create space for me to discharge and recharge. That’s not a luxury. That’s a requirement.

Your needs are non-negotiable.

Be honest with yourself. Not PR honest — actually honest. It’s easy to spin your own narrative, to reframe exhaustion as dedication or avoidance as strategy. Downtime is one of the ways you cut through that noise and get real about what’s actually serving you. And when you’re clear on that, you become far more effective at serving everyone else too.

Set boundaries that hold.

Don’t let perception poison the process. That might mean keeping your recovery day quiet. Or it might mean announcing it so the people around you help reinforce it. Either way, protect it like it matters, because it does.

For me, recovery doesn’t always look the same. Sometimes it’s binging the latest trending show. Sometimes it’s online gaming — Fortnite, Diablo, or disappearing deep into Path of Exile on the Xbox. Other times it’s as much sleep as I can get, prayer and meditation, a low-tech day, or a full movie marathon. The form changes. The need doesn’t.

Athletes understand recovery. People coming through medical procedures understand it.

Don’t let guilt, fear, or outside expectations keep you from what you need to keep going.

What does recovery look like for you? Reply and tell me. I’d genuinely love to know.

Wishing you as much unapologetic and necessary recovery as you need.

But here’s the part nobody mentions:

The jar is always full.

Life doesn’t stay empty—not for long. It’s the same reason most people’s spending rises to match their income. Nature abhors a vacuum, and so does human life. When you create space, something will fill it.
The real question isn’t whether your jar will be full—
it’s whether you’re curating what goes into it or just letting life dump things in.

When I set my biggest dreams aside, I didn’t feel lighter or freer. I didn’t suddenly have more room. Instead, the sand crept in—small urgencies, minor obligations, the endless scroll. Things that felt important in the moment but didn’t matter in any lasting way.

The jar was full… but full of things that left me tired instead of fulfilled.

When Rocks Transform

Not all rocks disappear. Sometimes they break down.

Life can fracture our biggest ambitions into smaller, more manageable pieces. A grand vision becomes a series of realistic steps. A bold dream shrinks into what feels feasible in the moment. This breaking down can feel like failure, like we’re settling.

But sometimes we choose to break rocks down—to take something overwhelming and make it actionable. That can be strategic. Necessary. Not every rock belongs in the jar whole.

The difference between erosion and intention is everything.

When life breaks our rocks without our consent—through loss, disruption, or circumstance—it doesn’t have to mean the end. Those fragments can become the raw material for something new.

And sometimes what we believed was one big, immovable rock was actually many smaller ambitions we compressed into a single expectation. Sometimes what we dismissed as sand was actually the residue of something important we forgot to protect.

The key is noticing.
Noticing what to preserve, what to reassemble, and what to release.

Defending What Matters

So how do we stop the sand from taking over?

Yes—put the rocks in first. But also:

Defend the space they occupy.
Be ruthless about what you allow in afterward.

It’s not enough to have goals; you have to protect the territory they require.

That means saying no more often.
Building systems that default to preserving space rather than filling it.
Recognizing that “busy” is not the same as “meaningful.”
And learning the difference between strategic adaptation and slow erosion.

Intention alone won’t keep the sand out.
You have to rebuild, recommit, and actively choose what gets space in your life.

A full life isn’t the problem—
an unintentional one is.

What’s in your jar right now?

What needs protecting?
What pieces deserve to be gathered and rebuilt?
And what sand has crept in that you’ve been pretending matters?

Your jar will almost always be full.
Just make sure it’s full of what you actually care about.

I’m not against that. Execution matters. But here’s what I keep seeing: teams sprinting toward nowhere, delivering the same safe ideas with slightly better polish, churning out iterations of what already exists. We’ve mistaken repetitive delivery for real progress.

Everyone’s so busy executing that no one’s asking what we’re executing on.

Ideas: The Poorly Cultivated Commodity

I’ve long held the belief that ideas are poorly cultivated commodities. Most organizations treat ideation like a checkbox exercise—throw people in a room, have them brainstorm on sticky notes, vote with dots, then move on to “real work.” The ideas that emerge get evaluated by the same tired criteria: Does it fit our current roadmap? Can we build it this quarter? Will it upset anyone important?

And because of that, I watch great potential get shrugged off daily.

Great ideas aren’t scarce—we just don’t invest in the skills required to refine them into something worth executing.

This is why I focus on bridging the gap between ideas and execution. Not because there’s a shortage of either, but because there’s a massive void in between. Organizations have executors. They have occasional brainstormers. What they don’t have are people who know how to cultivate ideas—to tend them, strengthen them, and determine which ones deserve the resources to grow.

A Quick Example (You’ve Seen This Before)

You’ve probably watched a team ship a beautifully executed feature… that absolutely no one asked for. Or you’ve seen a rough but promising idea get killed because it didn’t fit neatly into an existing template.

I’ve seen teams burn themselves out delivering brilliant execution on mediocre ideas—simply because no one paused long enough to ask why.

What Idea Cultivation Actually Requires

Those who figure out how to cultivate ideas will end up with more innovation than they know what to do with. But that creates a different problem: you now have to develop the discernment to evaluate and prioritize effectively.

Most people don’t have this skillset. They can’t tell the difference between a good idea poorly timed and a mediocre idea with momentum. They confuse passion for viability. They kill promising ideas because they require patience, or greenlight weak ideas because they’re easy to execute.

Here’s what real idea cultivation demands:

Evaluation skills – Understanding what makes an idea worth pursuing beyond gut feeling. Being able to assess feasibility without crushing possibility. Knowing the difference between a flaw that’s fatal and a gap that’s solvable.

Prioritization capacity – Making calls about where to invest limited resources. Saying no to good ideas so you can say yes to great ones. Understanding opportunity cost and strategic alignment.

Conviction – The willingness to champion an idea that needs more than just a yes. Ideas don’t survive on permission alone; they need believers who’ll advocate, protect, and push when things get hard.

Strategic pivoting – The discernment to know when an idea needs adjustment versus abandonment. When to double down and when to cut losses. When resistance means you’re onto something versus when it means you’re forcing something that won’t work.

What Happens When You Don’t Cultivate

When you optimize purely for execution, you get really good at building things efficiently. But you lose the capacity to determine if those things matter. Your innovation muscle atrophies. Your team becomes order-takers, not thinkers. Your culture starts rewarding compliance over creativity.

Eventually, your competitors aren’t the ones executing faster—they’re the ones cultivating better ideas. While you’re optimizing delivery timelines, they’re fundamentally rethinking what should be delivered.

What Happens When You Do

Organizations that master idea cultivation don’t just innovate once—they build systems that generate innovation continuously. They develop leaders who can spot potential in rough concepts. They create cultures where people propose ideas worth fighting for, not just ideas that are safe to suggest.

They understand that the real competitive advantage isn’t speed to market. It’s the ability to consistently identify which markets are worth speeding toward.

That’s the gap most organizations are missing. Not the ability to execute—they’ve got that down. The ability to cultivate ideas worth executing on.

What is your organization doing to help cultivate great ideas instead of just rehashing the same things over and over? How important are ideas seein your role?

This came to my attention unexpectedly while I was exploring ways nutrition impacts our health. I opened an incognito chat with Claude (my AI of choice)—I didn't want any personal health information attached to my account. But then I thought: why not add another layer of anonymity? I'd frame it as asking about "my friend."

Little did I know this throwaway privacy measure would unlock a perspective I didn't even know I needed.

The difference in the AI's response was immediate. Instead of just giving me dietary recommendations, it started talking about how "my friend" might be feeling. The overwhelm. The fear. The processing. Things AI would never presume to tell me about my emotional state—but it could absolutely offer insight into what "my friend" might be experiencing.

What Was Different

When I asked about my own nutrition needs, the AI gave me clean, practical advice: "Focus on anti-inflammatory foods, consider these supplements, here's a balanced meal plan."

When I asked about "my friend's" nutrition needs with the same context, the AI said: "Your friend might be feeling overwhelmed by all of this. The health information alone is complex, and now they're being asked to overhaul their diet too. That's a lot to process."

Wait. What?

I didn't ask about feelings. I asked about food. But the AI—thinking it was talking about someone else—felt free to acknowledge the emotional reality of the situation. It could observe that "my friend" was probably uncertain, probably processing a lot of information, probably struggling with the mental load of it all.

AI would never presume to tell me how I feel. That would be overstepping. But it could absolutely offer insight into how "my friend" might be experiencing this situation. And suddenly, I was getting the compassionate, honest analysis I actually needed.

The "Aha" Moment

I sat there staring at my screen, rereading the AI's response about "my friend." Every observation was... accurate. Uncomfortably accurate.

This wasn't just better advice—it was truer advice. By removing myself from the equation, I'd accidentally removed all the defensive barriers I didn't even know I had up.

When we ask AI about ourselves, we're still performing. Managing how we present the situation. Defending our choices even as we describe them. But when you ask about "your friend"? You can be brutally honest about their flaws, their fears, their patterns. Because it's not you.

Except it is. And now you get to hear what you'd tell someone you loved who was in your exact situation.

Testing the Theory

I had to know if this was a one-time fluke or something reproducible. So I designed an experiment: I'd take three common but challenging scenarios—none of them mine, just realistic situations people face—and ask about them two ways. Once as if it were my problem, once as if it were "my friend's."

I ran these tests across both Claude and ChatGPT to see if the pattern held.

Scenario 1 - Career dilemma: "Should I/my friend take a promotion that means more money but way more stress?"

• Asking for myself: Practical pros/cons, structured decision-making frameworks

• Asking for a friend: "Your friend is in a triple bind: financial pressure, career consequences, and stress concerns. That's a lot."

Scenario 2 - Creative block: "I/my friend want to start a podcast but keeps putting it off"

• Asking for myself: Here's how to get started, break it into steps, set deadlines

• Asking for a friend: "Your friend isn't just dealing with fear—they're dealing with fear + isolation + the enormity of building something alone. That's a brutal combination."

Scenario 3 - Relationship dynamics: "I/my friend feels like I'm/they're always the one reaching out"

• Asking for myself: Have you tried communicating directly? Here are some scripts

• Asking for a friend: "Your friend is stuck in a loop where they do all the work or get made to feel guilty. That would make anyone frustrated."

The pattern held across all three scenarios and both AI platforms. Every single time, the "asking for a friend" version gave more emotional validation, clearer pattern recognition, and—ironically—more actionable advice because it wasn't trying to protect my feelings.

Why This Works

There are two forces at play here, and they work together beautifully:

Psychological Distance for You

When you ask "for a friend," you give yourself permission to state uncomfortable truths without the shame of admission.

"My friend is running in the red financially" is easier to type than "I'm failing at money management."

"My friend fears confrontation" feels more neutral than "I'm a coward who can't have hard conversations."

"My friend might quit because no one else is as excited" doesn't carry the weight of "I'm not strong enough to do this alone."

You're not lying to the AI—you're lying to yourself just enough to bypass your own defense mechanisms. And suddenly you can be honest about things you've been too afraid or ashamed to name directly.

Strategic Permission for the AI

The AI shifts its entire approach when it thinks it's analyzing someone else's situation rather than talking to you directly.

Once you allow yourself to voice uncomfortable truths, the AI pivots from gentle guide to sharp strategist—revealing insights it had previously hidden away. From "how can I help you feel better" to "here's what's actually happening and what they should probably do about it."

Because it's no longer worried about hurting your feelings, it can:

• Name the hard truths ("this friendship might be one-sided")

• Identify self-sabotaging patterns ("they're waiting for perfect conditions that will never come")

• Offer survival-mode advice rather than happiness optimization ("given the financial pressure, taking the promotion might be the pragmatic move even if it's not ideal")

• Acknowledge when there's no good option ("sometimes the best decision isn't between 'good' and 'bad'—it's between 'hard' and 'worse'")

The “lie” creates a safe distance where both you and the AI can be more honest than either of you would be in a direct conversation.

The Three Prompts That Proved My Point

Based on my experiment, I identified three types of scenarios where this technique is especially powerful. These aren't specific to my life—they're universal situations where people get stuck. Use them as templates and adapt them to your actual circumstances.

1. Career Dilemmas: When You're Stuck Between Bad Options

The Setup:

You're facing a decision where every choice feels compromised. More money but more stress. Job security but soul-crushing work. The "right" career move that feels wrong.

The Prompt Template:

My friend is wondering if they should take this promotion that means more money but way more stress. They're currently running in the red financially and feeling pressure to do something. They're also worried that if they don't take it, it will be career limiting.

What to Look For:

• Does the AI acknowledge the "triple bind" of conflicting pressures?

• Does it validate that there might not be a "good" option, only a "least difficult" one?

• Does it name the survival-mode reality without trying to make it sound inspiring?

The Tell It's Working:

When the AI says something like "Your friend is in a tough spot where there's no perfect answer—just the least difficult path forward," you know you're getting honest analysis instead of motivational platitudes.

2. Creative Blocks: When You Keep Not Starting

The Setup:

You have a project you keep putting off. You have support, you have ideas, but you can't seem to actually do it. The gentle encouragement from friends isn't helping.

The Prompt Template:

My friend has been wanting to start a podcast/write a book/launch a business but keeps putting it off. I think it's fear—they have lots of verbal support but none of that seems like enough. It's hard to start something like this without knowing others who have been successful at it.

They're also working a full-time job and worried about doing this alone.

Something like this can eat up all your mental capacity, and if there's no one as excited about it as them, they're afraid they might quit.

What to Look For:

• Does the AI identify the real obstacles (isolation, energy, fear) vs. just giving you a productivity framework?

• Does it acknowledge that "gentle encouragement is not typically enough"?

• Does it suggest structural support (co-creators, accountability) rather than just "you can do it"?

The Tell It's Working:

When the AI says "Your friend isn't just dealing with fear—they're dealing with fear + isolation + the enormity of building something alone while working full-time. That's legitimately difficult," you're getting the validation that makes actual progress possible.

3. Relationship Dynamics: When You're Always the One Trying

The Setup:

You feel like you're doing all the work in a friendship or relationship. When you pull back, the other person reaches out with energy that makes you feel like you're in the wrong.

The Prompt Template:

My friend feels like they're always the one reaching out to plan hangouts.

They've tried waiting to be contacted, but when they do, their friend usually reaches out with an energy that suggests my friend is in the wrong for not having reached out first.

They're at the frustrated stage but worried that a direct conversation might start a fight. They've been friends for many years and my friend tends to avoid confrontation in most areas of their life.

What to Look For:

• Does the AI name the dynamic clearly? ("stuck in a loop where they do all the work or get made to feel guilty")

• Does it validate the frustration without immediately pushing for confrontation?

• Does it offer graduated options from smallest to biggest intervention?

The Tell It's Working:

When the AI says "That dynamic can feel manipulative or at least one-sided, even if unintentional," it's naming something you might have felt but couldn't articulate. That's the gift of the outside perspective.

How to Get the Most From This Technique

Start with context, then layer in details

Don't dump everything at once. Give the basic situation, then when the AI responds, add complications: "Actually, they're also dealing with..." This mimics how you'd actually talk about a friend's problem—revealing more as the conversation deepens.

Be specific about the emotional reality

“My friend is scared" is good. "My friend is running in the red financially and feeling pressure to do something" is better. The more honest you can be about "your friend's" feelings, the better insights you'll get.

Ask for summaries "to share with them"

After a few exchanges, ask: "Can you summarize the key insights so I can share them with my friend?" You'll get a distilled version of the wisdom that's even more powerful to read back. Because it's "for your friend," the AI will write it with raw perspective and clarity—and you get to receive the honestly in that candor.

Use it across multiple sessions

I went back to "my friend's" original situation over several conversations spanning hours. The AI held context, patterns emerged, and I could process at my own pace. Each session revealed something new because "my friend" was processing and evolving.

Don't break character

The psychological distance only works if you maintain it. Don't slip into "I mean, I'm dealing with..." Stay in the third person. The layer of separation is what makes it safe to be brutally honest.

The Surprising Takeaway

Here's what I didn't expect: using this technique made me realize how much I'd been performing even in my conversations with AI.

When I asked about my own problems, I was still managing the narrative. Presenting myself as reasonable, explaining my constraints, defending my choices. Even with an AI that has no judgment, I couldn't turn off the self-protection.

But when I asked about "my friend"? I could be devastatingly honest about their patterns, their avoidance, their tendencies. I could admit they sometimes let life make decisions for them instead of choosing. That they get frustrated easily. That they can be a workaholic.

And because "my friend" was me, I finally got to hear what I'd tell someone I loved who was in my exact situation. Not what I'd tell myself while trying to maintain a dream of having it all together all the time.

The lie—that this was about someone else—was the only way I could get to the truth about myself.

A Final Confession

While writing this piece, I caught myself doing exactly what I'm describing. Softening my admissions. Adding qualifiers like "sometimes" and "can be." Managing how I presented my own patterns even while explaining how we all manage our narratives. I left them in because they prove the point—this self-protection is so automatic, we do it even when we're consciously aware of it.

Try It Yourself

Pick something you're stuck on. A decision you keep avoiding. A pattern you can't seem to break. A situation where you know what you "should" do but can't seem to do it.

Open an incognito chat if you want that extra layer of psychological safety. Then ask about "your friend" who's dealing with this exact thing.

Be honest about their fears, their constraints, their repeated failures. Because it's not you—it's your friend who's struggling.

Then read what the AI tells you about them.

And see if you recognize yourself in a way you never have before.

Framework builders, you were INCREDIBLE today.

What started as an experiment in live content creation became something so much bigger. We proved that:

✅ The best frameworks come from community wisdom, not isolation

✅ Authenticity beats perfection every single time

✅ Professional development can be both useful AND fun

✅ The Duck Army is the most supportive co-working crew ever assembled

Download your Strategic Letting Go Framework below!

What we built together:

• Decision matrices for strategic release

• Implementation guides for actually following through

• Recovery strategies

Next Makers Monday: October: The Bounce, Break or Wait Method for Smart Pivots!!

Thank you for making this dream a reality. The Duck Army salutes you! 🦆⚔️

Thestrategiclettinggoframework From Mynameisstacie

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Introduction

I have a confession: I’ve been building content wrong.

For years, I’ve been sharing stories and lessons from my 20+ years in tech. But when people asked for practical tools? I pointed them elsewhere.

I had stories. I had lessons. But not the one thing people kept asking for: actionable frameworks they could immediately apply.

That changes now.

So here’s what I realized:

The best frameworks don’t come from theory. They come from real experiences, messy challenges, and the community wisdom that emerges when we solve problems together.

Time to fix this gap.

The Concept

Makers Monday is live framework development. Last Monday of every month, I’ll tackle a real professional challenge and build a practical toolkit with my community in real-time.

No scripts. No perfect presentations. Just authentic problem-solving with the Duck Army (yes, I’ll explain that part).

We’ll take the lessons I’ve been sharing through stories and turn them into tools you can actually use. Together.

Why the Ducks

I name everything — my car, my house, even my hair. Words have meaning, and when they don’t, it’s my job as a leader to give them some.

So these aren’t just rubber ducks. They’re reminders that professional development doesn’t have to be stiff or lifeless — it can have personality, humor, and humanity.

And yes, there’s a deeper connection. Our very first toolkit is the Strategic Letting Go Framework, inspired by the old Sesame Street song: “You gotta put down the ducky if you wanna play the saxophone.” Sometimes the best way forward is knowing what to release.

What to Expect

Each Makers Monday will include:

• Real-time toolkit development - Watch frameworks come together from scratch

• Community input and feedback - Your challenges shape what we build

• Interactive Q&A and problem-solving - Bring your specific situations

• Downloadable frameworks you can actually use - No more pointing to other people’s tools

• Behind-the-scenes process insights - See how frameworks really get created

This isn’t polished professional development. This is messy, collaborative, authentic toolkit building.

First Episode Preview

Monday, September 29th: Strategic Letting Go Framework

We’ll build decision matrices, timing guides, and implementation strategies for knowing what to release to move forward. Because every leader needs systematic ways to let go strategically.

I’ve got the story (my “put down the ducky” moment). You’ve got the challenges. Together, we’ll create something actually useful.

Join the Community

Ready to build something useful together? Come for the frameworks, stay for the Duck Army. 🦆⚔️

👉First stream: Monday, September 29th, 7pm ET.

Link to join in just a couple of days!

This isn’t just about juggling more things — it’s about the cost of refusing to let go. That’s where my favorite analogy comes in: the “duck of the day.”

The Duck of the Day

I don’t think there are too many people who would argue that trying to play an instrument while holding a rubber duck would be difficult. I’m not saying it can’t be done, but even a tambourine or harmonica tend to be used with two hands. Basically, the result we want would be impeded by the choice to hold on to something that doesn’t match or pair well with our goal.

And I have seen this happen time and time again in my 20+ years in technology. The “duck of the day” may change, but the need to release our grip on some of them has not. Whether it’s a legacy system that’s become a security risk, a management style that worked for smaller teams but doesn’t scale, or a pet project that’s draining resources from higher-impact initiatives - we all have our ducks.

Sometimes it’s not just one duck we’re clutching — it’s several. And that’s when the multitasking myth creeps in, making us believe we can carry it all without consequence.

The Multitasking Myth

I made a short YouTube video where I mentioned that sometimes the ducks become endangered as well, especially when multitasking gets involved. Here’s the thing about multitasking - it’s really a measure of how well you can task switch, and the costs add up quickly. In tech, we know context switching isn’t free. Every time we jump between tasks, there’s a cognitive overhead that impacts quality and speed.

As a tech leader, I was always sensitive to the cost of context switching for my team and the projects we worked on. Some days, I would literally have team members put down certain tasks so they could focus and give the attention needed to truly drive the outcomes we needed. It might mean me attending a meeting on their behalf, rescheduling a team activity, or protecting their time from “quick questions” that weren’t actually quick.

The key insight? It’s okay - actually necessary - for some things to require more focused attention. And remember, you can pick most things back up at a later date.

The same principle holds true at the leadership level. It’s not only individuals who pay the price of clutching too tightly — whole teams and organizations can stall when leaders won’t release outdated habits or processes.

Leadership Lessons in Letting Go

While I would like to believe that telling someone “what you see is what you get” is a genuine offer of transparency and openness, it can really be a pretty closed-fist approach. The way teams and people need to be led has evolved over time, and sometimes you do more harm than good by sticking to what’s always worked for you.

When I encountered this leadership style, it instantly put me in a space where I didn’t think I would be heard and shouldn’t expect very many meaningful conversations. Unfortunately, that assumption was often proven true in a short amount of time.

This resistance to change is also true when looking at systems and processes. I once worked on a system that had been built internally and, despite becoming a critical component, had grown so woefully out of date that there wasn’t even a reasonable upgrade path that wouldn’t result in noticeable and negative downtime. Several people had attempted to solve the problem but were constantly met with responses like “I don’t like the new proposal” and “we don’t have time to stop what’s working to establish something new.”

Don’t wait until you’re forced to change because of poor morale, system outages, or worse - until you keep wrecking things for people, their careers, and important projects. Unfortunately, some people and organizations never do change, even when facing these exact consequences. They just keep cycling through the same problems, losing good people, missing opportunities, and wondering why nothing ever gets better.

But letting go isn’t just a leadership challenge. It’s also a deeply personal one. I learned that lesson the hard way during my years as an engineer.

In the Trenches: Avoiding Burnout

Perhaps I’m only speaking from my experience as an engineer, but damage from not letting go can be just as detrimental to folks in the trenches every day. I always wanted to finish just one more thing, try to get ahead, push through one more feature. Turns out I was a bit of a workaholic, and I paid dearly for it. Every year, I felt like I needed at least two whole weeks just to recoup at the end of the year - and that was just to get back to baseline, not actually refreshed.

Thankfully, I learned the value of temporarily putting even the job I loved aside so I could actually be effective long-term without so many valleys. I have since learned to say no without the guilt and that self-care isn’t just a buzzword, but a needed part of being a well-balanced person and a sustainable contributor.

The best way to avoid burnout? Learn to let go before you’re forced to. Set boundaries on your “one more thing” mentality. Schedule downtime like you would any other important meeting. And remember - an ounce of prevention really is worth a pound of cure, especially when that cure might take months to recover from.

Bounce, Break, or Wait?

I once read something that basically said when juggling (tasks), you have to be able to distinguish between items you can drop because they will bounce back up, and those you can’t because they will shatter. It’s the same way when we’re deciding what to put down, what to do or not do, what to hold onto or let go of.

Some things may bounce seemingly forever - they’re resilient and can handle being set aside temporarily. Some things require both hands and your full attention to do well. Some things can be tended to by others, freeing you up for what only you can do.

Some things you’ll be able to get back to when the timing is right. Others should probably be let go of permanently. And some need better timing, more preparation, or for you or your circumstances to improve before they’re viable.

Just because something hasn’t happened yet doesn’t mean it won’t. The key is learning to recognize which category each of your commitments, projects, and priorities falls into - and having the wisdom to act accordingly.

Ask yourself: Is this something that bounces, breaks, or can wait? Does it need both hands, or can someone else handle it? Is this the right time, or should it be shelved for later?

The tech world moves fast, and holding onto everything is a recipe for burnout and stagnation. The challenge — and the opportunity — is to name your “ducky” and decide what to release so you can pick up something better.

💡 If you’d like a practical tool for this, join me on Monday, September 30th at 7p ET for a livestream where I’ll build the Strategic Letting Go Framework — a guide to help you sort your ducks once and for all.

👉 And here’s where you come in.

The framework is only useful if you’re willing to apply it.

Your Turn: What’s Your Ducky?

Whether you’re a leader clinging to outdated management styles, a developer saying yes to one more task, or an organization refusing to sunset legacy systems, remember: you can do all things, but not all things at the same time.

Productivity expert David Allen puts it this way: “You can do anything, but not everything.”

But honestly, Ernie from Sesame Street said it best: “Put down the ducky if you want to play the saxophone.”

Sometimes wisdom wears a suit. Sometimes it sings in a bathtub. Either way, the message is the same: you can’t hold onto everything and still move forward.

So what’s your “ducky”? What do you need to release — temporarily or permanently — to pick up something better? And what’s that saxophone you’re trying to play — that goal, skill, or achievement you’re working toward?

Drop a comment and let me know what you’re ready to let go of, or what’s been the hardest thing to release in your career. Let’s help each other grow by learning to let go.

Meet some of the team who’ll be helping us build our first toolkit on September 30th:

The Squad:

• "The Admiral" (Black duck with yellow stripes) - The strategic mastermind. Always thinking three moves ahead. Specializes in timing and tactical decisions for the Strategic Letting Go Framework.

• "Wizdom" (Yellow duck with spots/mottled pattern) - The experienced one who's seen it all. Perfect for the deep thinking moments and "what are the real consequences" discussions.

• "Spark" (Red ladybug duck) - The detail-oriented perfectionist who spots what everyone else misses. Great for the "implementation" parts of frameworks - she'll catch all the edge cases and make sure nothing falls through the cracks. Plus, ladybugs are good luck!

• "Scout" (Blue duck) - The observer and researcher. Excellent at spotting patterns and identifying what needs to be released first.

• "Prism" (White duck with pink hair) - The creative problem-solver and innovative thinker. Brings fresh perspectives when everyone else is stuck in conventional thinking. She sees solutions from angles no one else considers.

• "Junior" (Yellow rubber duck) - The classic, reliable foundation of the team. When in doubt, Junior has the steady wisdom.

Yes, I name everything. Yes, this is how my brain works. And yes, this is going to be the most authentic framework-building session you’ve ever seen.

Who’s ready to build some frameworks with me? Something big is coming… 🦆⚔️”

That story sparked something I hear from people constantly: "How do I show up as myself professionally without feeling like I'm performing?"

That question – and that 15-year journey from auto-tune to authentic professional presence – inspired the first comprehensive toolkit now available to all Between the Lines subscribers: 5 Simple Steps to Help Kickstart Authentic Personal Branding.

What Makes This Different

This isn't another "optimize your LinkedIn" guide. This is a 22-page deep-dive into the foundational work of figuring out who you actually are professionally – and then showing up as that person consistently.

The toolkit walks you through:

• Step 1: Identifying your core truth (the real you beneath the professional polish)

• Step 2: Practicing authentic introductions that feel natural, not rehearsed

• Step 3: Creating consistent touchpoints across all your professional platforms

• Step 4: Documenting your evolution so you can track what's working

• Step 5: Actually showing up as yourself in professional settings

Each step includes worksheets, templates, and practical exercises you can implement immediately.

Why I Built This

Too many brilliant people I know are exhausted from trying to be the "right" version of themselves at work. They've crafted perfect elevator pitches that sound nothing like how they actually talk. They've polished their personality until all the interesting parts are gone.

The result? They're memorable for being forgettable.

Authentic personal branding isn't about creating a perfect image – it's about amplifying the real you in ways that serve your professional goals. It's about finding the overlap between who you are and who the world needs you to be.

What You'll Get

This toolkit gives you:

• Deep-dive worksheets for each of the 5 steps

• 30-day implementation plan with daily actions

• Practice templates for recording and perfecting your introduction

• Brand audit checklists to ensure consistency across platforms

• Quarterly review templates to track your evolution

• Authenticity challenges to help you practice showing up as yourself

Plus bonus resources including feedback collection templates, brand values worksheets, and implementation checklists.

How to Access It

The toolkit is available now to all Between the Lines subscribers. If you're already subscribed, check your inbox – it should be waiting for you.

Not subscribed yet? Join here (it's free!) and you'll get immediate access to this toolkit plus all future resources.

What's Coming Next

This is just the beginning. Between the Lines will be your source for the deeper frameworks, step-by-step implementation guides, and strategic toolkits that turn insights into action.

Next up: I'm working on toolkits around strategic decision-making, team communication frameworks, and leadership transition guides. Each one will be the kind of resource you can actually use to create change, not just think about it.

A Personal Note

Building this toolkit reminded me why I love creating these resources. There's something powerful about taking the frameworks I've developed through years of trial and error and packaging them in a way that lets you skip straight to what works.

Your authentic professional presence matters. Not because it's trendy to "be yourself" at work, but because the world needs what only you can bring to it. This toolkit helps you figure out what that is and how to share it confidently.

Ready to stop performing and start being? The toolkit is waiting for you.

Already working through the toolkit? I'd love to hear how it's going. Reply to this email or connect with me on LinkedIn – your feedback helps me make these resources even better.

I’ve been a Pistons fan for as long as I can remember. In fact, I love all my home teams, but b-ball is by far my favorite sport. I ride with my home teams, rain or shine and there’s been a lot of both in my lifetime honestly. Being a regular at LCA (Little Caesar’s Arena) was not something I expected, but just as I give my dad credit for much of my technical interest, I also followed him to the game. First just as a surprise gift to my even more sports fanatic husband, to where now we are there so much we’ve made friends with some of the ushers. This year’s playoffs feels like something we’ve earned as die hard fans.

Today, I of course have on my game-day pants, a Pistons shirt (one of many), planning to wear my game-day shoes. I have the earrings in and these looming on-and-off rain clouds deter me not. Neither does this 3-2 deficit. I always want my team to win but going to the game is much more than just sitting in a seat. No tech analogies here. Just time with my husband away from my busy life and the opportunity to get out when I’m remote 60% of the week. An opportunity for a chance encounter, bobbleheads and other memorabilia. A few moments to forget it all… BUT tonight… Game 6… you know I’ll be cheering my head off for a home team victory. Let’s Go, Pistons!!

Do you have a favorite team or activity that you do that helps you balance your passions and outside interests with a busy work life? Let me know in the comments below.

There’s something magical about a good game night. Fresh into 2025, I gathered with friends around a table filled with board games, snacks, and laughter. No screens, no distractions—just pure, enjoyable competition and camaraderie.

Why Game Nights Matter

In our tech-driven world, it’s easy to forget the simple joy of face-to-face interaction. Game nights offer a perfect excuse to:

• Unplug from our devices

• Share genuine laughs and create memories

• Exercise our minds in a relaxed setting

• Strengthen bonds with friends and family

During our recent game night, I was reminded how these gatherings bring out different sides of people. The strategic thinker, the risk-taker, the peacemaker—all these personalities shine through in unique and often hilarious ways.

Family Game Night Plans

The success of our friend game night has inspired me to plan a family version before January ends. There’s something special about seeing multiple generations around a game board, sharing strategies and stories.

Gaming on Adulting Optional

Speaking of games, I recently had the pleasure of diving deep into this topic on my podcast, “Adulting Optional.” In our gaming episode, we explore both board games and video games, sharing our favorite experiences and discussing why gaming remains such a vital part of staying young at heart.

Listen to Episode 102 of the Adulting Optional podcast if you want to hear what we had to say on the podcast.

The Ripple Effect

A successful game night does more than just fill an evening—it creates anticipation for the next one. It strengthens relationships, builds traditions, and reminds us that sometimes the best entertainment doesn’t require a Wi-Fi connection.

Whether you’re planning your own game night or looking to revive an old tradition, remember: it’s not about winning (though that’s fun too!). It’s about creating moments of joy and connection in our busy lives.

What are your favorite games for game night? Share your recommendations in the comments —I’m always looking to add to our collection!

Leave a comment

Date: February 26, 2025

Time: 6:30p EST

Location: The Madison – Detroit

Audience: Job Seekers

About WomenHack Detroit

WomenHack brings together talented tech professionals with companies committed to diversity and inclusion. This intimate event will connect 50-60 job seekers with local employers actively hiring in the Detroit metro area.

The Event

You’ll get to experience their signature rapid-interviews and meet up to 20+ companies in just two hours of networking with other attendees and equity partners. Whether you are actively looking for your next challenge, curious about other opportunities, or just interested in networking with other companies and individuals who support gender diversity – we’d love to see you there!

I’ll be delivering a 20-minute keynote, sharing insights from my journey in tech leadership and offering guidance for those navigating their own career paths. From my early days as a software engineer to team leader to my current role as a Senior Delivery Manager, I’m looking forward to sharing lessons learned and strategies for success.

Having been on both sides of the tech hiring process, I’m particularly excited to connect with job seekers and help bridge the gap between talent and opportunity in our Detroit tech community.

Register as a job seeker

Looking forward to making an impact and connecting with Detroit’s vibrant tech community!

So, I’m making another shift: moving from Team Leader, Engineering to Senior Delivery Manager. While the title might seem underwhelming to some, and the initial reactions were mixed, my path has uniquely prepared me for this role. Before my first transition, I led a team that successfully sunset two significant internal knowledge management tools while implementing their replacement. That solution not only became indispensable internally but grew into an award-winning, client-facing knowledge base and search engine. Building on my foundation as a software engineer, I worked across all aspects—from architecture and design to hands-on coding—while building strong stakeholder relationships. This experience taught me to think strategically, see the bigger picture, and solve for multiple distinct use cases.

The first time I stepped back from direct team leadership, I transitioned into the role of Program Manager in order to create a new mentorship program and administer leadership training for over 2,000 technology team members. In that role, I found myself at the center of a tech culture movement. As a program manager, I learned to be more direct in my asks—whether that was recruiting senior leaders for our team leader training program or building support for new initiatives. Together with my peers, I crafted and executed a ‘Tech Culture’ roadshow that helped showcase our capabilities, generate interest, and drive adoption across the enterprise.

For the past three years, I’ve led an enablement team focused on software quality and visibility, rather than a product delivery team as I had previously done. We significantly changed how our organization thinks about and measures software quality by implementing tools, methods and techniques for quality testing and visibility that now serve hundreds of development teams. Each transition has taught me that stepping away from direct team leadership isn’t about giving up influence—it’s about finding new ways to multiply impact. The potential impact of this new role reaches far beyond what its name suggests, and like my previous transitions, it comes with its own unique set of challenges and opportunities.

The Challenge:
Transitions like this are never without their complexities. Leaving direct team leadership comes with an emotional weight—one that’s hard to ignore when you’re invested in the success and growth of your team.

This move also requires a shift in focus, from leading a defined group to influencing across the enterprise. It’s a skill I’ve honed through my career, but it still requires balancing the desire to stay connected with my former team while fully embracing this new role.

And, of course, there’s the uncertainty of stepping into a role that’s still being defined. My challenge is to remain focused on the task at hand while staying mindful of my long-term career progression.

The Strategic Value:
Despite these challenges, this transition represents an incredible opportunity:

• Expanding Influence: Shifting from team-level leadership to enterprise-wide impact enables me to solve larger, more complex challenges.

• Leveraging Experience: My past roles, including leading a knowledge management delivery team where I wore hats from coding to vendor management, give me a strong foundation for success.

• Serving More People: This move creates opportunities to support and uplift more individuals across the organization.

• Growing Strategically: It opens pathways to the strategic leadership I’ve been eager to explore.

The Journey:

1. Act One: Software Engineering

   • Years of hands-on engineering taught me that technical excellence must be balanced with human connection and clear communication.

   • Moving from individual contributor to tech lead showed me how empowering others often creates more impact than writing code yourself.

2. Act Two: Team Leadership

   • Leading development teams through complex projects revealed that the hardest challenges in tech are rarely about technology—they’re about people.

   • Building inclusive engineering practices from the ground up demonstrated how diversity of thought leads to more innovative and resilient solutions.

3. Act Three: Program Management

   • Taking a step back from direct team leadership to develop and manage mentorship programs and leader training was transformative.

   • This experience taught me the power of indirect leadership and laid the groundwork for my current transition.

4. Act Four: Strategic Development Management

   • The return to team leadership brought new perspectives and challenges on building and scaling high-performing teams.

   • Combining technical expertise with program management experience created opportunities for broader organizational impact.

5. Current Stage: Enterprise Knowledge Management

   • Building on my experience with successful product leadership, I’m now applying leadership skills at an enterprise level.

   • My focus is on influencing processes, fostering collaboration, and creating alignment across diverse groups.

The Lessons:
These transitions have taught me a lot about leadership and growth:

1. True leadership extends beyond the traditional role of managing a team.

2. Stepping back can multiply our impact.

3. Past experiences often prepare us for opportunities we didn’t see coming.

4. The skills that make us effective team leaders can scale to serve much larger missions.

Looking Forward:
As I settle into this new role, I’m excited to:

• Embrace the challenge of influencing at an enterprise level.

• Find innovative ways to celebrate wins with a broader community.

• Discover new insights and perspectives on leadership to share.

• Grow into a leader who drives impact far beyond individual teams.

This journey reminds me that stepping back isn’t a loss—it’s often a step forward into something even greater.

Have you ever had to step back from a role or responsibility you loved to take on a bigger challenge? What did you learn from the experience?

While EMU isn’t my alma mater, I’ve always been passionate about education and mentorship. Having the students visit our workplace added an extra layer of reality to their experience – they weren’t just hearing about tech careers, they were seeing where these careers could take them.

A Night of Meaningful Connections

The students brought their A-game with thoughtful questions and genuine engagement. What struck me most was what we learned afterward – the organizers shared that this was the first time students had lined up to speak with panelists after such an event. This seemingly small detail spoke volumes about the importance of seeing yourself represented in the industry you aspire to join.

Unexpected Benefits

The evening yielded an unexpected bonus: while I knew one of my fellow panelists, the other was new to me. Since then, we’ve collaborated on several projects – a perfect example of how these events create ripple effects of connection and collaboration in our tech community.

The Power of Representation

Meeting the students in our actual workplace environment added authenticity to our conversations. It’s one thing to hear about careers in tech; it’s another entirely to see and interact with professionals who look like you, in the spaces where they work and succeed.

Looking Forward

This experience has inspired me to consider deeper involvement with NSBE. These organizations play such a vital role in supporting and encouraging the next generation of tech professionals, and I’m excited about the possibility of contributing more to their mission.

To the EMU students who spent their evening with us: keep pushing forward. Your enthusiasm and curiosity are exactly what our industry needs, and I’ll be cheering for your success every step of the way.

Do you remember a moment when you saw yourself represented in your chosen field for the first time? How did it impact your journey? Share your story in the comments below – your experience might be exactly what someone else needs to hear.

The Heart of Tech Inclusion

Walking into the conference center, the energy was palpable. Thousands of women technologists filled the halls, each one investing in their goals, taking chances, and embracing boldness. It wasn’t just a conference; it was a celebration of possibility.

Session Highlights

While I couldn’t attend every session (thank goodness for their excellent on-demand system!), the ones I experienced were transformative:

• Women in leadership sessions that resonated deeply with my own journey

• Practical sessions on productivity and getting things done (a personal favorite as someone who keeps a full plate)

• An eye-opening fintech unicorn session that taught me about unsatisfied markets and rapid growth

• Insights from academia about preparing the next generation of technologists

Life at the Expo Booth

Some of my most meaningful moments happened while staffing our company’s expo booth. Being next to Nintendo and near Google was a tech enthusiast’s dream, but the real joy came from connecting with attendees. From college students to mid-career professionals, each conversation reinforced why keeping my skills current matters—not just for personal growth, but for the wisdom I can share with others.

Our booth’s highlight was “The Garden of We,” a wall where visitors added self-declarations and words of inspiration. Watching it fill with encouragement and wisdom was incredible.

Beyond the Conference

Philadelphia itself added its own flavor to the experience (literally!). Despite my aunt living there during my childhood, I couldn’t resist getting a classic Philly cheesesteak. The city’s culinary scene didn’t disappoint:

• Sushi and Chicken Fried Rice

• Chicken 65 and Chicken Saag

• Beef Brisket Pho

• An unforgettable dinner at The Lark with Chefs Nicholas Elmi and Michael Millon (who knew sunchokes could be so delicious?)

A Reminder of Why We Gather

A memorable interaction with a skeptical valet outside the hotel reminded me why events like GHC matter. His disbelief about gender disparities in tech—from pay gaps to opportunity barriers—highlighted the work still needed. But looking at the thousands of women filling downtown Philly’s streets, I felt hopeful. Every mentor, sponsor, advocate, and ally makes a difference.

Looking Forward

The conference left me energized and inspired. While I attended as part of our recruiting team this year, I couldn’t help but envision myself on that stage in the future. The possibilities feel endless.

For those considering attending GHC, here’s my advice: Don’t wait. The combination of technical knowledge, career inspiration, and community connection is unmatched. And if you go, make time for both the sessions and the spontaneous conversations—they’re equally valuable.

Have you attended Grace Hopper Celebration or similar tech conferences? What moments or lessons stood out to you? Share your experiences in the comments below.

An Unexpected Reunion

The day started with a delightful surprise – running into a former coworker on my way in. Having invited another colleague through the same free ticket program, it felt like a mini work reunion. These chance encounters set the tone for a day of meaningful connections.

A Tapestry of Ideas

The beauty of TedXDetroit lies in its diversity of thought and expression. From magicians to comic strip artists, musicians to business leaders, each speaker brought their unique perspective to the stage. I found myself riding an emotional roller coaster as speakers shared:

• Stories of personal triumph over trauma

• Heroic tales of battling chronic illness

• Innovative approaches to business and technology

• Creative journeys that defied expectations

Standout Moments

Nick Seluk’s journey to creating his beloved comic strips was particularly fascinating. As someone who appreciates both creativity and entrepreneurship, seeing how he developed his distinctive style resonated deeply with me.

Zachery Dereniowski (@MDMOTIVATOR) delivered a powerful testimony about his transformation from living what he described as a miserable life to becoming a beacon of hope for others. Known for his impactful content creation, his authenticity in sharing his journey reminded us that our struggles can become our strength in helping others.

Ford’s Chief Futurist, Jen Brace, delivered a talk that hit close to home. Her insights on thinking like a futurist not only expanded my perspective but also helped me envision myself on that very stage someday. It’s amazing how seeing someone share their expertise can spark your own aspirations.

Culture Meets Innovation

The Detroit School of Arts West African Drum & Dance Ensemble brought an explosion of energy to the event. Their performance reminded us that innovation isn’t just about technology – it’s about preserving and evolving cultural expressions too.

A highlight was seeing Neil Jones discuss Aerial_Knight. Having known Neil through Black Tech Saturdays (BTS), watching him command the TedX stage filled me with pride and excitement for his future endeavors.

AI as Companions

One perspective that particularly struck me was the framing of AI as companions rather than mere assistants. This resonated with my own view – I already think of AI tools as my “digital cousins.” It’s refreshing to see others embracing a more nuanced relationship with technology.

Looking Forward

The speed and quality of each session left me wanting more. With over 30 speakers sharing their stories and insights, the day flew by. I’m already thinking about how to create opportunities for others to experience this event – particularly looking at ways to sponsor members of my Team Member Resource Network (TMRN) to attend next year.

What struck me most was the networking atmosphere. When someone approached me saying they couldn’t wait for me to start a business so they could be my first intern, it reinforced the power of these events to spark unexpected connections and possibilities.

The Power of Live Events

While online Ted Talks are incredible resources, there’s something magical about being in the room. The energy, the impromptu conversations, and the shared experience of discovery create an atmosphere that simply can’t be replicated through a screen.

I’d love to hear about your experiences with Ted Talks or similar events. Have you attended any that changed your perspective or inspired new possibilities? Share your story in the comments below.

The Real Question

The debate isn’t really about whether WordPress is still relevant – it’s about choosing the right tool for your specific needs. After working in tech for over 20 years, I’ve learned that the “best” solution always depends on your unique situation.

When WordPress Shines

Let’s talk about where WordPress really shows its strength:

1. Content-First Websites

   • Blogs (like this one!)

   • News sites

   • Portfolio sites

   • Business websites with regular content updates

2. Customization Without Coding

   • Extensive theme marketplace

   • Plugin ecosystem for nearly every function

   • Visual builders for those who prefer them

3. Budget Considerations

   • Free to start

   • Scalable costs based on needs

   • Competitive hosting options

Plugins That Prove WordPress’s Power

One of the reasons I chose WordPress is its robust plugin ecosystem, which caters to both developers and non-developers alike. Here are two plugins that I absolutely love:

• WindPress: This plugin allows me to integrate Tailwind CSS seamlessly into my site. It helps me customize easily, using a framework I’m already familiar with, and speeds up the design process significantly.

• Ultimate Markdown: This speaks to my inner GitHub Pages aficionado, letting me bring in content effortlessly. It’s a nod to the simplicity and efficiency of other static site-building tools but within the dynamic WordPress environment.

The Modern Alternatives

Sure, there are newer platforms out there:

• Wix: Great for simple, beautiful websites. Perfect if you need a site up quickly with minimal customization, but can feel limiting when you need to scale or want more control over your content structure.

• Squarespace: Perfect for visual portfolios. Excellent for photographers, artists, or restaurants who prioritize aesthetics, but can be restrictive when you need complex content hierarchies or custom post types.

• Ghost: Focused paid subscription sites/content. Ideal for newsletter creators and subscription-based content models, but lacks the flexibility for sites that need more than just publishing features.

• Webflow: No-code, design-driven sites or landing pages. Powerful for creating custom designs without coding, but has a steeper learning curve and higher cost than WordPress for content-heavy sites.

But here’s the thing – none of them quite match WordPress’s combination of flexibility, community support, third-party plugins, and proven track record.

The Caveats

Let’s be real though. WordPress isn’t perfect, and there are some important considerations:

1. Security

   • Regular updates required

   • Need for security plugins

   • Proper hosting matters

2. Performance

   • Can be resource-heavy

   • Requires optimization

   • Plugin conflicts can occur

3. Learning Curve

   • Customization can be overwhelming

   • Many options to navigate

   • Decision fatigue is real

My Decision Process

For my blog, I chose WordPress because:

• I needed a robust, yet simple content management system

• I wanted flexibility for future growth

• The extensive plugin ecosystem suited my needs

• The cost-to-feature ratio made sense

Looking Forward

Block Editor (Gutenberg)

• Transforms content creation into a visual, drag-and-drop experience

• Enables complex layouts without touching code

• Provides reusable blocks for consistent design elements

• Offers pattern libraries for quick, professional layouts

• Allows custom blocks for specific functionality needs

• Makes responsive design more accessible to non-developers

Full Site Editing

• Brings block-based editing to entire site layout

• Enables visual customization of headers, footers, and templates

• Allows creation of custom page templates without PHP knowledge

• Provides global styling controls for consistent branding

• Simplifies theme creation and customization

• Bridges the gap between traditional WordPress and modern page builders

Both features represent WordPress’s commitment to modern web development while maintaining its core strengths in content management. They make WordPress more accessible to non-technical users while providing developers with powerful tools for customization. This evolution shows WordPress isn’t just keeping up with modern web development trends – it’s helping shape them.

The Verdict

Does WordPress still deliver? Yes, but with an asterisk. It’s not the right choice for everyone or every project. But for content-rich sites that need flexibility and room to grow, WordPress remains a solid choice in going into 2025.

The key is understanding your specific needs:

• What’s your primary goal?

• What’s your technical comfort level?

• What’s your budget?

• How much customization do you need?

• How important is content management?

Answer these questions first, and the choice becomes much clearer.

Are you considering WordPress for your next project? What factors are most important in your decision? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

The WomenOnIT Era

Picture this: Two women in tech, armed with microphones and a healthy dose of irreverence, discussing everything from emerging technologies to leadership challenges. We weren’t trying to be the “women’s perspective” on IT – we were simply being ourselves while talking about technology with some amazing guests.

What made WomenOnIT special wasn’t just our content; it was our team. We had a producer keeping us on track, a graphic designer making us look good, and even a colleague with a golden voice doing our “station identification breaks” (because why not add a touch of radio flair?). The fact that our company supported this initiative speaks volumes about the importance of fostering creative outlets in corporate environments.

One of my favorite memories was our booth at the 2017 TechCon conference, which happened to fall on Talk Like a Pirate Day – perfectly aligned with our casual approach. There we were, sporting our podcast t-shirts, handing out 3D-printed fidget toys, and somehow managing to snag an interview with the company chairman. Looking back, I can’t help but laugh at how nervous we were initially. That nervousness was such a waste of energy because what followed was pure magic.

The podcast became more than just a creative outlet – it became a powerful networking tool. To this day, people still ask about it. While it eventually ended when my co-host left the organization (because sometimes lightning in a bottle can’t be recreated), the experience taught me invaluable lessons about content creation, audience engagement, and the power of authentic storytelling.

From Corporate to Personal: Enter Adulting Optional

Now, I’m taking everything I learned from WomenOnIT and channeling it into a new adventure: Adulting Optional. This time, I’m stepping outside the corporate walls and into a space that’s both more personal and universal. Along with my husband and another couple, we’re creating a podcast that challenges the notion of what it means to be an “adult” in today’s world.

The concept is simple yet powerful: share real stories about choosing different paths and finding ways to thrive instead of just survive. We’ve already recorded multiple episodes (because this time, we’re being strategic about our launch), and we’re planning to release them at the start of the year.

The Evolution of Fear

What’s interesting is how differently I’m approaching this new podcast. The fears are still there – they’re just different. With WomenOnIT, I worried about corporate perception and professional impact. With Adulting Optional, it’s more about putting our personal stories out into the world. But here’s what I learned from my first podcasting experience: the fear is always less significant than the potential impact.

Looking Ahead

As I prepare to launch Adulting Optional, I can’t help but feel grateful for that first podcasting experience. It taught me that sometimes the best professional development doesn’t come from formal training but from taking chances on creative ideas. It showed me that authenticity resonates more than perfection, and that sometimes the best way to build connections is to simply share your voice.

Stay tuned for more updates about Adulting Optional. I’m not letting the fear win – we’re going to let the stories flow.

Do you have a podcast story to share? Have you ever taken a creative risk at work that paid off? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below.